The Words Unspoken
by Arianne 08
Summary: Set sometime after chapter 50. Finally having a moment for themselves, Eren and Mikasa reflect on their encounter with the Smiling Titan as well as on their relationship. Second half seasoned with a great pinch romance and humor. Continues up to chapter 55 of the manga. Eremika.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin._

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The fiery disc of the setting sun disappeared behind the top of the colossal wall. Far from any civilization the Survey Corps were healing their wounds and gathering their strength, as well as fulfilling their usual duties, such as struggling with the all-pervasive dust in the hut which served as their temporary shelter. The evening, however, was the time when they could finally take a rest from trying to satisfy Corporal Levi with their house cleaning skills.

Seeking a bit of quiet and solitude, Mikasa went outside. Feeling no need to stray far away from the cottage, she leaned against a wooden post several steps away from the door. As the moonlight struggled its way through the clouds, her gaze swept the surroundings; vast open areas, forests stretching far up to the massive wall in the horizon. She breathed in the cool evening air, wondering what it smelled like in the outside world.

Would they ever get the chance to explore it? Endless seas filled with salt water, deserts of sand, landscapes of ice… Even though it had always been only Eren and Armin who openly dreamed of seeing all these wonders with their own eyes, Mikasa was also intrigued by the vision of life beyond the walls. After all, they would explore the world together, all three of them, just like they'd always planned. As unrealistic as it sounded, one was always allowed to dream.

To dream of a world where the ground no longer shook under the titan's feet.

Mikasa lowered her head. In her hands she was holding her beloved red scarf. It felt soft and warm under her fingertips, the way it always did. Whenever she touched it she felt safe, remembering that she was not alone. So many times she thought she had lost _him_, and yet, somehow they managed to withstand all adversities.

She was on the point of wrapping the cloth around her neck when she heard the door open. She turned around to see Eren closing it behind him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, walking up to her.

Mikasa looked away. "I'm fine. I seem to be healing fast." The fact that her chest was throbbing as if the titan's huge fingers had been still clenched around her like snakes was a trivial detail she could omit. Sooner or later the pain would recede. She didn't need to trouble the people around her.

"It's a good thing Jean was there to save you." he mentioned somewhat grimly.

The soft evening breeze ruffled their hair as they stood in silence, gazing at the tall trees growing behind the low wall that surrounded the hut. Apart from the thick branches swaying slowly in the wind the world around them seemed dead. Only the noise coming from behind the door and their friends' chatting maintained a bit of life in the desolate place.

"Why did you say that back then?" Eren asked suddenly. Her thoughts interrupted, Mikasa turned her head toward him, confused. "Why did you say all those things at that particular moment?"

And then she understood. He meant the time when they had witnessed Hannes's death while kneeling in front of the titan that had taken Eren's mother away from them all those years ago. She could still remember that twisted smile, the one that had brutally turned their peaceful life into a nightmare. With all the chaos around them, with their friend dead and them left almost defenseless, she had known that soon the nightmare would come to an end. Was she… trying to surrender? Thanks to Eren she was always ready to fight till the last drop of blood, and yet… At that moment all she had wanted was to express her deepest gratitude to him.

Now that she thought of it, she couldn't even find a reasonable answer to his question.

"Those might have been the last minutes of our lives. I just… wanted you to know." she replied sincerely.

"You were ready to give up, weren't you?" A faint note of accusation could be heard in his voice. "Just because you knew you couldn't save us?"

_Of course_, he could see right through her. The questions were clearly rhetorical. Mikasa lowered her head. _Yes, Eren, you're right. Why do I feel ashamed because of that? Because for one moment I wasn't as strong as I always have to be_? _Because I wanted to spend the last minutes of my life looking into your eyes?_

She didn't say a word.

Eren continued. "And in such a moment you even thanked me for this stupid scarf. It's only a piece of cloth." he shrugged, puzzled.

A shadow of the faintest smile ran across her face. "To you it may be just a piece of cloth. But to me…" she looked down at the scarf in her hands. "…it's the most precious thing." She would never forget the sudden feeling of warmth, not only after Eren had wrapped the cloth around her for the first time, but also when she had been invited to become a part of his family. When doctor Jeager offered her a place under the roof of his house, Eren accepted her without a mere second of hesitation. Just when she had thought that she lost everything… that there was no place for her in this world anymore… that thenceforth she would experience only cold and loneliness… he changed it all.

"It'll always remind me of home," she continued, "of finding happiness again," She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "…of you."

His eyes widened. Furrowing his eyebrows, Eren looked away.

"Don't think that it was just about the scarf." Mikasa added quickly. "It was everything that led to me receiving it."

Once again, the memories returned. She was lying on cold floor, barefoot, hearing her kidnappers talking… talking about having just murdered her parents. She was feeling dizzy. Were it because of the utter shock or the paralyzing fear, she could not tell. In her heart there was an endless void. She didn't even feel the pain. Only the cold, its icy digits running up her skin, diverting her attention from anything else. Was the time even passing? Or maybe she was just trapped in that terrifying nightmare, with no way of escape?

And then everything happened in a split second. Both murderers were sprawled on the ground in their own blood, unmoving. In the fading daylight slanting into the dark hut she saw the silhouette of a young boy, red dripping from the knife he was holding. She was barely conscious of what had just happened, still hoping that it was only a bad dream she would soon wake from. She could barely hear what he was saying to her as he cut through the rope which was painfully restraining her wrists. She was being rescued by a boy who risked his life for her, and yet… the gaping emptiness within her would not shrink.

…until the third kidnapper appeared.

_If you win, you live._

The man's fingers clenched around Eren's neck as he fought for breath.

_If you lose, you die. _

She picked up the knife, unable to make another move. Her whole body trembled uncontrollably.

_If you don't fight, you can't win!_

And then she was stumbling forwards, suddenly stronger than ever before, her eyes glowing with pure determination and rage, the blade aiming for the place where the beast's heart should be…

Then she was brought back to reality. She felt hands brushing lightly against hers and realized that the fabric was slipping through her fingers. It was Eren pulling the scarf out of her hands. Had it been someone else than Eren, she would have clenched her hands fiercely without even the slightest intention of letting go. Still, she was confused.

For a while Eren stared at the red piece of cloth in his hands, rubbing his fingertips on it, seemingly deep in thought... as if he, too, were recalling the same memory.

The silence was lengthening. Mikasa kept observing him apprehensively. Wasn't he going to say anything?

"Eren…" she called.

He shuddered at the sound of his name coming from her. He tore his gaze away from the scarf. "Armin told me how you'd been acting while I got captured." he said, staring blindly into space.

A soft shade of crimson blossomed on Mikasa's cheeks. She turned away, gritting her teeth. _Way to go, Armin, I wonder how much you've spilled._ She promised herself to give him a piece of her mind later.

Usually Eren would only lash out on her whenever she was becoming overly protective of him or putting her own issues above her duties as a soldier. Now, probably knowing that she'd yielded to her emotions once more, would he do so again? Why would it always annoy him so much?

_Why don't you realize what kind of fate you saved me from? Why can't you see that apart from you I have no one else in this world? You brought me back to life and I will do anything to sustain yours. Just… let me be here for you._

As much as she wanted him to know it… she couldn't utter a word. She closed her eyes, ready to be reprimanded.

That was when she felt something soft being loosely wrapped around her neck and familiar warmth overwhelming her. She opened her eyes to see Eren holding the loose ends of the red scarf which he had tossed over her head. His eyes were on hers.

"I said I'd wrap it around you as many times as you need me to." he said quietly. "And I will," he began to coil one end of the material around her neck, "…from now on…", he repeated the gesture once again, so that her lips were covered, "…I'll be here to do it whenever you ask for it."

Mikasa felt as if she'd fallen into a kind of trance. She stood immobilized, catching every single word. Part of her wished to close her eyes to stop the tears that were starting to well up in them, whereas the other part didn't want to lose sight of the deep celadon pools in front of her. So she kept her eyes open, letting her vision become gradually blurred.

Such a simple act it was and yet it triggered the most intense emotions in her heart, the heart of a fearless soldier. Could it be that he really meant what he'd said back then? From what she knew of him, Eren would never make empty promises.

"I'm sorry for the way I've always acted towards you." he confessed, no longer able to look her in the eyes. "I guess I just don't know how to show you… that I care about you, too." The words came out louder than he'd intended them to.

Eren could never get rid of the lingering feeling of guilt which gnawed on him whenever someone died or suffered because of him. But this time it had been different. This time it had been even worse.

While he was carrying Mikasa away from the raging titans, she was trying her best to choke back the sounds and not to moan in pain. Her rib injury was quite serious and still she was forced to endure the ride back to the wall. He could almost feel her grimacing against his back as she held on to him firmly on the horse. Later, while he was setting her down on the stretcher, something crumbled inside him. _He_ was the one to blame for her state. Neither Armin's reassuring smile nor her claiming to be fine could change that. Suddenly the roles were switched. Now he was the one looking after her, worrying about her wellbeing, watching over her while she was sleeping.

Mikasa was almost unaware of the single tear that rolled down her cheek and vanished in the folds of her scarf. She had never expected to hear it from him, albeit she secretly yearned for it deep inside her heart. Sometimes he had been giving her reasons for thinking that she wasn't dear to him. And now the unexpected humbleness in his voice clearly proved that he was being sincere. What was it that had suddenly impelled him to speak his mind?

And then it dawned on her that it had all been in her head. She had always focused on him continuously rejecting her protection. But things were completely different when he kept his mouth shut.

He had been ready to fight the Smiling Titan barehanded to protect them, just like she could always go to any lengths to protect him. He'd carried her on his back to safety, just like she would always come to his rescue when he was in trouble. And when she had woken up in her bed after having her injury tended to she found him napping on a chair next to her, just like she would never leave his side when he was recovering. What more proof did she need?

Mikasa felt something melt inside her heart.

Even if Eren had intended to say anything else, he was stopped by Mikasa who flung her arms around him rapidly, almost knocking the air out of him. He could feel her soft hair against his cheek as she clung to him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

Completely caught off guard, Eren stood motionlessly as though he'd been petrified. Only on very rare occasions could he see her letting her emotions take over, and in most of the cases, if not in all of them, _he_ had been involved. Having fully realized what had just happened, shyly and awkwardly, he wrapped an arm around her back, still too insecure to return the hug properly.

He could feel her shaking slightly, but there were no sobs to be heard.

Why was this situation so uncomfortable and foreign to him? Had he already disposed of all emotions other than grief and rage? He'd always claimed that feelings were for the weak. The world was a battlefield; their life – a never-ending struggle. In such a world there was no place for the weak. Only the ones who'd abandoned their humanity had the chance to survive. His heart was so filled with utter loathing of the titans, the urge to avenge his mother and his comrades, that there was no place left for the ones he held most dear and who were still alive.

_Mikasa and Armin…_

He would always be deprived of what he loved, so perhaps… he was just afraid to love them, lest he lose them?

_Mikasa…_

She was a relentless killer, one of the strongest and most powerful persons he ever knew, nevertheless, these qualities could never repress all the affection she had to give. Eren remembered exactly what Armin had told him earlier. She had been completely broken after losing him again, she was ready to kill anyone who would try to stop her from taking him back, and all she ever wanted… was to be by his side.

Suddenly something snapped inside of him and he embraced her tightly, squeezing his eyes shut.

In response, Mikasa clenched her fists in his shirt, hardly believing in what was happening. Gradually she relaxed in his arms. Had it not been for Hannes's sacrifice, she wouldn't be able to do it ever again. The thought of losing her family would always break her heart. She couldn't afford to let it happen again. Therefore she had promised herself she would protect Eren at all costs.

Yet again they had narrowly escaped death. All that mattered at this moment was that he was with her, holding her close. Mikasa smiled weakly, savoring his proximity. _Thanks, Armin. I owe you for this one._

For the first time in what seemed to be forever… she was happy.

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_I'm not sure whether I should continue this. Please, let me know what you think of it so far._

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

_I have no idea how it became so long that I needed to split it into two chapters. I guess I just tend to wander away from the main topic…_

_The action takes place somewhere in chapter 53 of the manga._

_Also, thank you for the positive reviews of the first chapter. Enjoy reading!_

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The thin candle standing on the nightstand was burning out very slowly, gradually letting darkness engulf the room. The tall flame was as still as if it were frozen, with not even the weakest gust of air to distort it. It was quiet. So quiet that it was becoming almost maddening.

Lying on his back in bed, Eren was staring at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. The dead silence and inaction were growing to be his invisible enemies. To make things worse, he wasn't able to fight them. All he could do was wait till he would finally be allowed to leave this damned room and the silence that hung within its four walls. Why had everyone insisted that he should stay in bed for the rest of the day and not even join them for supper? He had already fully recovered after Hanji's experiment. He was even in quite a good shape, not to mention that his limbs had regenerated in no time with no complications whatsoever.

It was the inaction that had a malign influence on him. Due to the lack of duties to fulfill all he could do to kill time was think. And that was the exact reason why he dreamed of leaving this cage he was trapped in. He hated the thoughts that plagued him whenever he was forced to stay idle. There was no way to deal with them, for not even sleep would swat them away. They would only take a form of nightmares, thus becoming even more vivid.

Eren turned on his side, the still-bright candle flame reflected in his wide open eyes. He had let everyone down again. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out how to harden his titan's skin. Was he sentenced to discovering his skills by accident only? Annie had made it look childishly easy every single time she used this ability, then why was it so hard for him? There was no one he could turn to for help, no one to give him even the smallest advice. The burden lied on his shoulders.

Hanji, Levi, his comrades, even his father… they all counted on him. Moreover, the entire mankind counted on him. With the power he held the impossible could become possible. Wall Maria could be retaken, however, on one condition. Eren had to learn how to wield his power and become its master. Only then could mankind be saved. Their gate to the outside world would finally be opened. Yet, as Levi had aptly observed, in the current 'shitty' situation all hope was gone.

Eren had given his word to the Corporal that he would not fail. He would always do his best to keep his promises, but this time the task had overwhelmed him. Why was he expected to be the hero of mankind? He had never asked for it. His goal was to wipe out all the titans, exterminate every last one of them, but with all eyes on him, the pressure just kept distressing him more and more.

His jaw clenched. How was he supposed to live up to their expectations when he couldn't learn to control the power he possessed? There were too many questions which could not be answered and more and more kept arising. How many more people would have to die for him? How many would have to suffer because of his failures? The feeling of guilt would not go away. Especially now after the loss of the close friend of his family.

Hannes's death had been a crushing blow for him; partly because it bore too much resemblance to his mother's. Both persons had a special place in Eren's heart, he had watched both of them disappear in the jaws of the same titan that haunted his dreams, and in both cases watching had been all he could do. _Useless_, he thought, disgusted with himself. _I was as useless and helpless as five years ago. Nothing has changed. Not a single thing._

Eren clenched his fists in the bed sheets. While he had never approved of Hannes's ignorance and drunkenness, he considered him to be a kind-hearted and caring man who was always ready to protect him even at his life's cost. Initially craven, yet courageous in the end, fueled by the will of making up for the past, the Captain of the Garrison had always been able to admit his mistakes and tried to pay off his debts.

_Why him?_ Eren asked himself, feeling his eyes begin to well up. Had it not been for Hannes, he would have been certainly dead for five years now. He tried not to picture what would have happened to Mikasa if their savior hadn't summoned up the courage to face the Smiling Titan in the fields. He wished he could have got more chances to see him after joining the military. Thanks to the friendly old man his childhood was rarely boring. Recalling scenes from the past when they'd still lived a peaceful life, shared their dreams, the joy, the pain, Eren struggled not to give in to despair once again. He hadn't even got the opportunity to bid a proper farewell to him… show his heartfelt gratitude to him… or honor his memory.

He had thought his loathing of the titans couldn't grow any deeper, however, he couldn't have been more wrong. They kept depriving him of everything he valued in life. Freedom, happiness, family, friendship… He would make sure that Hannes, as well as hundreds of soldiers before him, hadn't sacrificed his life for nothing. He vowed to contribute to mankind's victory and witness the last titan being slain. He would plug up Wall Maria… or he would die trying. Too many people have already lost their lives fighting for freedom. He felt as if his hands were stained with their blood. Much as he regretted it, it was impossible to prevent the death of every soldier, but he could not afford to lose anyone close to his heart. He would no longer be a helpless boy who could do naught but watch his family and friends die at the hand of repulsive beasts that enjoyed devouring human flesh for no particular reason. He was filled with dread at the very thought that he might lose these persons even tomorrow. What if next time… it was Armin? What if it was…

The sudden creak of the door being opened almost made him leap. He jerked his head up to look over the sheets.

"…Mikasa?"

The person who had just appeared in his thoughts now stepped over the threshold and pushed the door shut behind her. In her hands she was carrying a tray with food.

"I brought you supper." she announced, placing the tray on the nightstand. The flickering candle flame danced in the grey eyes of hers as she turned to him. "How are you feeling? Is there anything you need?" she asked apprehensively. Even though she seldom smiled, her eyes held a gentle warmth when she spoke to him.

Still slightly dazed, Eren glanced at the steaming bowl of soup and the loaf of bread waiting on the tray beside him, before looking back up at Mikasa. Then he tossed the sheets away, causing the flame to flicker intensely, and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Yes, I need to carry this food back downstairs and eat together with the rest of you." he stated firmly. But as he tried to stand up he was instantly overwhelmed with dizziness. Mikasa rushed over to his side and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, however, it occurred to be unnecessary, as Eren slumped down onto the bed, clutching his forehead.

"I told you not to overdo it." Mikasa said, looking down at him worriedly.

"I'm perfectly fine, just give me a minute." he assured her, grimacing. But when he felt the weight on his shoulder increase, he knew she wouldn't let him move even an inch up.

He propped his forearms on thighs, giving up. "Why won't they even let me join them for supper. It's pointless." he complained. Actually, the meal was more or less an excuse. What he wanted was to let his friends occupy his mind with something else than what he was dwelling on; even if it were supposed to be something silly. But what if his presence only spoiled the atmosphere… What if nobody was in the mood to laugh or speak of anything that did not concern this 'shitty situation'... After all, it wouldn't be surprising. Not after the recent events.

"They just want you to be in perfect condition, both physical and mental." Mikasa explained. "It seems they're planning something, but no one knows what. We'll be told soon." Even though Hanji was already thinking of another experiment, Levi was acting as if he were awaiting a message with instructions. He must have already informed the Commander of the present situation.

"Even so, if you find it pointless, at least treat it as an order." she added, trying to convince him. And then something caught her attention. She tilted her head to get a better look at his face. "Eren… were you crying?"

She'd caught him again. With a frustrated snarl Eren turned his face away from her and wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. It would still make him feel abashed, regardless of the reason of it.

"I was just… thinking too much." he said quietly, his eyes fixed on the floor. Should he share his thoughts with her? Wasn't that what he needed? Mikasa would understand him, she always had. Back in Shiganshina they were practically inseparable as kids. Whenever he was upset, she was there to hear him out. Whenever she was sad, he was there to cheer her up. Everything had been so easy back then. They were lighthearted, joyful and free. Even though they had lived together for merely one year, they'd grown very close in no time. However, in the military their bond had begun to loosen.

Eren knew the cause of it. Their family had been broken, their world shattered to pieces like stained glass, all because of two persons who he used to call 'friends'. Because of the two persons, who were directly responsible for the fall of Wall Maria, life as they knew it was over. No more laughter, happiness, or tenderness… He swore he would make sure that they pay for it, and yet…

"Now that I've failed the experiment it's all screwed up. There's no way for me to save mankind… nor to repay Hannes." He lowered his head even more. "I'm sorry."

Sorrow contorted Mikasa's face. Rarely had she seen him in such miserable state, albeit it tended to happen more often lately. She hated it when all she could do to help him was speak reassuring words. She wanted to console him, to hold him in her arms and kiss the pain away, but most importantly to find a solution to the problems that kept besetting him. There was one obstacle, though. She didn't have the slightest idea about titans' special abilities.

Her eyebrows furrowed. She wasn't used to being helpless. Her gaze swept the room and stopped on a chair standing by the nightstand. She drew it up to the bed and sat down in front of the young man, leaning forward. All she could see was a mop of dark messy hair before her face.

"Eren" she nearly whispered. She waited patiently till a pair of celadon eyes, which she loved so much, looked up at her. She could easily lose herself in their depth enhanced by the faint warm light, even though there was hardly any emotion in them.

"You have hardly any experience in controlling your titan body." Seeing a shadow of accusation in his look, she continued. "What I'm trying to say is that so far you've undergone only one experiment. _One_. You can't expect to master this skill after just one attempt. And I'm not talking only about your titan skills. It refers to everything. Life is hard. No one is born with the answers to all questions in this world."

This had always been the problem with Eren. Due to his high ambitions he would put himself under pressure and often push himself to the limit. Once he'd established a goal he would go to any lengths to attain it, not bearing the fatal consequences in mind. Which was mostly why Mikasa had always had to keep a watchful eye on him.

"And I don't know what kind of change or progress Hanji-san expected to see after your third transformation _in a row_." she said, rather to herself. "She should have known better than to carry on after the second one."

Hanji's ideas had always been extravagant, to say the least. But this time she had clearly overdone it. Mikasa was perfectly aware that Eren was capable of growing his limbs back, but this time it had been his face that was gone. The sight had been dreadful and filled her with fear. But it wasn't Eren that she was afraid of. She feared that it had been too much for him to handle in that state. She kept recalling the battle of Trost, when had hadn't been able to regenerate in his titan form. Luckily, no complications occurred this time.

Mikasa realized that Eren was gazing into space again, lost it his thoughts. She could easily guess what was bothering him; he had just stated it directly. She frowned in sorrow, recalling their friend's death. Why was she constantly losing the people she cared about, people she associated with home? Hannes had saved their lives once again, yet this time he paid for it with his own. The world was merciless; she was being reminded of it too often.

"You're blaming yourself even for his death, aren't you?"

"How can I not blame myself?" Eren asked, a note of disbelief in his hushed voice. "It happened again. I've done nothing again. I'd spent five years of my life working my tail off to become strong enough to fight them… and when the time came…" He shook his head contemptuously. _I've failed you, mother. I swore I would avenge you and instead I ended up losing someone again._

_Worthless._

_Pathetic._

His hands balled into fists.

"In this case should I also feel guilty for not helping him?" he heard Mikasa say.

"Don't you even say that!" he replied immediately, raising his voice involuntarily. "With those injuries you would have got yourself killed."

"So would you, trying to fight without your gear, not to mention any weapon."

Eren grimaced, turning away. "Not if I had known I could control the titans earlier. The motherfucker would have been ripped to shreds before it got the chance to lay its hands on Hannes."

Mikasa tried her best not to slap her forehead. "For God's sake, Eren, will you stop this nonsense? It's so easy for you to say it now, isn't it? But the thing is that you can't change the past, nor can you predict the future."

"I know, I know." Eren cut in quickly. "I'm just… never mind."

She was right again, he knew it perfectly. It intrigued him why he was subconsciously trying to prove himself guilty. It was pointless, yet he couldn't help feeling that way.

"What were you thinking, anyway?" Mikasa asked calmly. "You wanted to fight a 15-meter-class titan with your bare hands. You know you were just lucky…" Had it not been for Eren's mysterious ability, their chances of survival would have been close to minimum. However, saying that he was powerful only because of his titan skills would be a huge misstatement. He had actually managed to prevent the titan's huge arm from reaching them with nothing but his fist. Mikasa had never considered him to be an average soldier, but at times it occurred to her that she might have been underestimating him slightly.

"Yeah, go ahead and call me a 'death-seeker'." Eren answered grimly. "But what did you expect me to do?" Once it had dawned on him that she had lost all hope while kneeling in the titan's shadow, he knew he had to do anything to make them both survive. They were supposed to explore the outside world with Armin and be together for many long years. Their time hadn't come yet.

"I'm not going to scold you for this, no matter how reckless it was." said Mikasa. "After all, that was what had saved us. And not only us. Otherwise there would have been casualties on our way back to the wall."

Eren straightened his back and folded hands on his lap, a mild feeling of dizziness coming over him again. He was tired of dwelling on this subject. It made him feel sick and helpless. He found Mikasa's presence appeasing, but after all the sad truth was that currently nothing could improve the situation.

"I want to promise you..." he said, "I really want to promise you that soon it'll all be just like home again."

A while later he felt Mikasa's hands closing gently around his.

"Home is wherever you are with me." she whispered, her head bowed.

The diminishing flame cast warm light on Eren's thoughtful face. Mikasa wondered whether the time was right for her as well to reveal what had been repeatedly recurring in her mind for a longer time now, but the more she thought of it, the more hesitant she grew. Perhaps it was a better choice to leave now and let him rest. The opportunity was favorable… yet she found herself seeking even the smallest reason to take the next possible one. Out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed the tray which she had put on the nightstand. The bowl of soup was no longer steaming.

Yes, this was a good reason. She had been sitting here long enough. She loosened her hold and straightened up, intending to get to her feet.

A firm tug at her hand didn't let her stand up, the grip on it tightened gently.

"Wait…" Eren's voice sounded wistful, as if he feared she was going to leave and never return.

Taken aback, Mikasa lowered herself slowly back onto the chair.

* * *

_…to be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

Taken aback, Mikasa lowered herself slowly back onto the chair. Yet again she found herself gazing straight into his eyes. The soft dying light sharpened his features. It was a sight she knew perfectly, having seen it thousands of times. So why did it feel so… different?

He wasn't the same volatile boy who had dreamed of joining the Scouting Legion. She had watched him grow up to be a strong young man who learned to take a lesson from his mistakes. The changes might have simply escaped her attention, since she had been constantly by his side. Him scolding her for her overprotectiveness was a thing of the past. She'd never held a grudge against him for being churlish toward her, because frankly, he could be churlish toward anyone. That was what he had always been like, from the first days after she'd met him. It was his way of being, a feature engraved in his character. And after his mother's death, it had only become stronger. His inner anger had begun to swallow him and make him lose control over it until he could no longer contain it. Even though Mikasa knew that all this rage wasn't directed at her or any of their friends, she couldn't help but fell slight pang in her heart because of it. After all, that was what used to create space between them. It was a relief to notice how narrow this space had become.

Eren brushed the back of her hand with his thumb, his eyes never leaving hers. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

The girl parted her lips to answer him, yet no sound could be heard. She was genuinely affected by his openness, but at the same time baffled. Was it Hannes's demise that had had such an influence on him? Or was it simply her confession? None of it mattered, actually. He was by her side again and that was of greatest importance. She gave him a small nod in response, smiling faintly.

This hardly noticeable expression let her companion feel relieved. He knew that further prattle would have been pointless. There was a thousand things he could tell her, however, he wondered whether they would actually change anything. For years they had lived together and understood each other without the need to explain what they had in mind or what they felt. Of course, they would share their thoughts and concerns whenever something bothered them. But somehow Eren had never found stating the obvious useful or any helpful. Words weren't the only way of expressing oneself and Mikasa knew it well.

His gaze shifted to the tray waiting on the nightstand. "Alright then, I guess it's time to take care of this." he sighed. Even though it had been an exhausting day, he didn't feel hungry at all. The food must have already cooled, which would make it even harder to force down his throat. Not leaving his seat, he reached for the loaf of bread, but that was when he heard Mikasa's quiet voice right near his ear.

"Eren…"

Still leaning slightly forward, he turned his head toward her. What he noticed straight away was a strange glimmer in her deep grey eyes. There was something odd, yet hypnotizing about them. The familiar warmth they held would always make him feel at ease. But now there was something more to it. Her face was unusually close to his, so close he could see every detail in her features. She was beautiful. She had always been. He tried to recall whether he had ever let her know it. That was when he saw a faint shade of red on her cheeks.

A sudden feeling of déjà vu came over him. He remembered the vast green field stained with the blood of his comrades, the pandemonium all around him, his friends fighting for their lives with their last breath. He remembered the shadow of the beast towering over him, its reeking breath on his neck, its hand lazily reaching for him. But he also remembered a face. _Her_ face, right before him. The last thing he had expected to see back then was her smiling. And yet, the smile had been there, like a beautiful flower amidst a field of weeds. With his thoughts being a tangled mess, he was too despaired to think clearly and fathom her behavior. All he knew was that she had resigned herself with what would come next and that the last thing he could do was let it happen.

And now history was repeating itself. Although no titans were around and they were both safe sitting in his room, she was as close to him as back then. _Too_ close. The smile which had graced her lips at that time was now replaced with insecurity reflected in her wide-open eyes. It was something Eren rarely had the occasion to observe in her, let alone see her acting this way during a simple conversation with him.

Suddenly he felt his stomach being replaced with a sucking void. The time seemed to have stopped. Was she going to stay silent like this? What the hell did she intend to do? Her closeness had never bothered him directly; they used to live under one roof after all. But it was different this time and Eren feared he knew the answers to his questions. And when for a split second Mikasa's gaze flicked down to his lips before returning to his eyes, as if asking for permission, he had no doubt.

With that realization his mind became hazy. Should he pull away? Even if he wanted to, it would have been impossible. As her face inched closer and closer to his, he wasn't able to move a single muscle. All he could do was stare into the deep grey eyes in front of him, gape at the lovely thin lips, and the scar on her cheek, which would always send stabs of guilt through his heart. He felt the grip on his hand tighten nervously and with it unfamiliar chills ran down his spine. Was it really something to fear? A quiet voice at the back of his head was telling him that he didn't want to pull away at all, although he couldn't tell if it was right or wrong. Perhaps it was only the fear of the unknown…

He captured one last reflection of the candle flame mere inches from his face before closing his eyes. Before he even knew it, her lips brushed his.

The touch was feathery-light and the sensitive skin of his lips tingled under it instantly. The sensation was so foreign. Nonetheless, it felt surprisingly good. Pleasant… exciting… _thrilling_. His face felt hot, his throat dry. He didn't have the slightest idea how to behave. He was constantly immobilized, unable to stir, unable to think.

And then suddenly… it was over. The feeling was gone, as if it were meant to be just a cruel tease. After a longer while Eren lifted his eyelids slowly only to see the same stunning grey eyes fixed on his. However, he didn't have the chance to admire them once again, for Mikasa averted them hastily, her brows slightly furrowed. A deeper shade of scarlet had shown itself on her cheeks. She lowered her head, suddenly abashed.

She had been yearning for this for a long time. For so long she had wanted to openly reveal her feelings to him, regardless of the consequences. She didn't care if she would be rejected or scolded. She wasn't able to conceal it any longer, to keep all her feelings bundled up inside her. If he didn't know how much he meant to her before, at least now he would finally see it.

Since the bloody battle in the field Mikasa had been pondering over one issue. She wondered at what point her love for him had developed into this - an intense romantic feeling which never ceased growing stronger. Even though she'd kept convincing herself that he was her family, Eren never considered himself to be her brother. She had been deceiving herself, trying to deny her true feelings and conceal them from others, knowing that as a soldier she shouldn't occupy her mind with such issues. It was the highest time to face the truth and let him know it… before anything could separate them again.

And now, after that short moment of courage, she couldn't even look him in the eyes, afraid that he would turn his back on her.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

Eren was still gazing at her in amazement, his ears filled with the sound of his racing heartbeat. At that moment all of his concerns were gone, as if a giant boulder had been lifted off his shoulders. There was only her right in front of him, shy as never before, his hand in hers. He could never name the feeling he had developed for her, having never reflected on it, but he'd always known that she returned it. She had been proving it to him in every look, every gesture. And now the brief touch of her lips left him craving more… as if a living creature had been just woken from a long sleep inside his chest. He needed to continue what she had started, wanted her to stop holding back.

Mikasa nearly shuddered in surprise when she felt his fingers under her chin lifting her head gently till their eyes locked again. Confused, she studied his face, as if she were trying to see what was going through his mind. Eren's usually penetrating gaze seemed softer, though the change was subtle. Initial daze had been replaced by something she couldn't quite recognize in his eyes. His hand slid along her jaw to cup her cheek, setting goose prickles all over her skin. And suddenly _she_ was the dazed one. Eren leaned closer, tilting his head to reach her lips with his.

_Creak… creak…_

The sounds were coming from behind the door of the bedroom. Someone was walking down the corridor, but Mikasa couldn't care less. She had been waiting too long already. Feeling his breath on her face, she leaned forward in anticipation so as to meet him halfway. Her eyes fluttered shut.

"_Eren…?"_

Armin's familiar call was followed by the sound of the door being opened.

Everything happened in a split second. Mikasa slipped her hand swiftly out of Eren's grasp, her soft hair brushed his fingers as she straightened up, jumping to her feet, and before he could even turn his head towards the door he found himself choking on a loaf of bread which she had just shoved roughly into his mouth.

That was when Armin peered carefully into the room only to behold one of the most bizarre sights. Eren was sitting on the side of the bed trying to bite off a large piece of bread, coughing and wriggling in the process. Standing over him was a startled Mikasa who looked as if she wasn't sure whether make a move to help him or not. Three feet behind her stood a chair, not by a wall, but somewhere in the middle of the room. Had it been left there purposely?

"Eren! Are you alright?" Armin exclaimed, running up to his friends, his worried gaze shifting from one to another. "What happened?"

"Eren was just very hungry and ate too fast." Mikasa answered promptly.

Armin raised his eyebrows in confusion. He started to imagine the situation, trying to estimate its probability, but that was when Eren regained his breath, having swallowed the bite with difficulty.

"What the hell, Armin!?" he growled hoarsely.

"Umm… sorry, I just wanted to see if you were alright." his friend stammered shyly.

"He's fine." Mikasa chimed in calmly. "But he has to stay in bed till tomorrow. I was just leaving anyway, so…" She drew the chair back up to the bed, offering a seat to Armin.

But her blond-haired friend was occupied with studying the unusual colors on her face. Only a second afterwards did he realize what she was up to. "Wait, you don't have to…"

"Make sure he empties the plate." she added quickly, giving him no time to finish the sentence, and headed towards the door.

"But… I thought he was hungry…" Armin said, now completely puzzled. He could swear he'd noticed her eyes widen slightly at his words as she passed him by.

Eren on the other hand was busy pondering over what just _hadn't_ happened, surprised at how much this fact bothered him. Not until silence had fallen in the room did he notice her leaving.

"Mikasa…!" he called after her at once, a hint of disappointment and longing in his voice.

She halted in the doorway for a brief moment to glance over her shoulder hesitantly. Eren only caught a glimpse of her regular stoic expression before she walked out and disappeared behind the closed door.

Armin stared at it in disbelief for a good moment. He was bright enough to realize that he had definitely interrupted something. He just didn't know whether he should feel apologetic because of it, or celebrate the fact that there was finally _that something_ to interrupt. His lips turned up into a knowing smile. However, it faltered a little once he turned around to see his friend looking directly at him with an annoyed expression.

Armin gave him a crooked smile. "So… how are you feeling?"

Eren fell backwards onto the bed.

* * *

Behind the door Mikasa leaned against a wall and brought a hand to her lips. She let her fingers linger there, lost in her thoughts. After a while she headed down the corridor, smiling softly.

* * *

_**A/N:** …and it's official: since the beginning of holidays I've been suffering from a massive writer's block. Now the worst thing is that I really really want to write another chapter (it would be cruel to leave the story like this), but I can't get the ideas out of my head and onto the paper, so to speak. It's hard to tell when this story will be finished._

_Anyway, thank you very much for all the kind words and favorites. I hope we'll meet again soon._

* * *

_**Update:** The last chapter is already halfway finished._


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:**__ This one was fun to write. And finally – it's finished. __**But!**__ It isn't actually the last chapter of this story. But that's for later._

_The action takes place between chapters 53 and 54, and later somewhere in chapter 55. Also, I've always had a hard time accepting the fact that Eren and Mikasa are supposedly 15-years-old, so in this story they are around 18._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Jean Kirschtein considered himself to be a relatively tolerant and calm person who kept his feet on the ground. Skilled and clever he was, always trying to look one step ahead and judge the situation like a true realist. Not many things could throw him off balance. Well, perhaps that statement was a little bit exaggerated, but surely he was more sedate than a certain person. That person was one of these very few things… or well, a bit more than few… which would successfully shatter his inner peace.

That idiot… Bad-tempered, impulsive and reckless, he was the exact opposite of Jean. Whereas the former would chase his dreams at all cost, the latter was perfectly aware of how unrealistic they were. Luckily, Eren Jaeger had gained some common sense since their trainee days. That allowed Jean to be around him without the need to elevate the level of his already high tolerance.

If truth be told, the light-haired soldier, like everyone else, put great hope in that angry brat. He knew that the survival of mankind was more or less dependent on Eren and his special abilities. Of course, that could never stop Jean from having plenty of reasons for expressing his annoyance with him.

To his surprise putting up with the titan shifter had become more problematic than usual lately. Although he had been forced to deal with this before, this time it struck him out of the blue.

It was the second morning after Hanji-san's experiment. Together with her squad, Corporal Levi and his subordinates were taking their seats at the tables, hungry for the freshly prepared breakfast. The room was filled with the delicious smell of bread which made Jean's mouth water. He had been awake for an hour now and the rumbling noises coming from his stomach kept reminding him of the meager supper they'd all had yesterday. It was necessary to manage their supplies wisely, thus everyone had the chance to experience how Sasha was usually feeling.

Once everyone had received their portion, Jean took a pitcher of hot steaming tea and walked over to Mikasa, who was seated opposite to him. She was wearing her casual white shirt and a long ash grey skirt, which would whirl gracefully about her ankles whenever she was walking. Her old red scarf was wrapped securely around her neck. Despite the weariness after her last night's watch she still looked stunningly beautiful. The glossy black hair framing her pale face was always the first thing he noticed about her. He wondered if they felt so soft to the touch as they looked.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he poured the tea into her cup. She mumbled a 'thank you' and adjusted her scarf. Jean went on to fill the rest of the cups, including the one standing in front of the empty seat next to Mikasa. _Seems that Eren is having trouble dragging his ass out of bed yet_, he thought. But once he returned to his seat to fill the last cup, a joyous shout cut through the air.

"Eren! I see you're up!" Hanji called out all of a sudden, almost making her squad jerk up in fright.

Everyone turned their heads towards the door to see their missing comrade entering the room. Even after one entire day off he looked far from well-rested. His hair was slightly disheveled and dark circles were visible under his eyes.

"Good morning, Hanji-san." he said hoarsely.

"How are you feeling? I hope you're already back in form." the squad leader continued, waving a loaf of bread absently in her hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thank you."

Finishing his job, Jean glanced up at Eren who sat down at the table between Mikasa and Corporal Levi, somewhat more stiffly than usual. From the corner of his eye the titan shifter peeked at the girl on his right and muttered a greeting. Mikasa answered him almost inaudibly, lowering her chin into the folds of her scarf. Jean's jaw nearly dropped when she smiled softly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Never before had he seen her do it. But that wasn't all. Either he had become colorblind this very morning or her cheeks just turned rosy. _Did she just…_

"Oi! Jean!"

Only after Connie's abrupt call did it dawn on him that he was still holding the pitcher in his hand. His eyes flicked down rapidly to the table. The tea had spilled over and his cup was now standing in a pool of liquid. In a split second Jean tilted the pitcher, stopping the tea from pouring into the overflowing vessel.

"Damn." he cursed under his breath, feeling the heat rising swiftly in his cheeks. Everyone's eyes were on him, but _hers_ were the only ones he cared about. How could he embarrass himself like that in front of Mikasa? Making eye contact with her in such moment clearly wasn't the best idea, but Jean couldn't resist. To his relief it turned out that she wasn't looking at him. In fact she was probably too occupied to even notice the little accident. _Wait…_ was this a good thing?

"Jean."

The calm icy voice made him look up. "Yes, Corporal?"

Levi's expression was blank and unreadable, but Jean was perfectly aware of what was awaiting him.

"Next time you decide to waste our finest black tea like it's some cheap shitty booze, you'll be cleaning the entire crib, understood?"

"Yes, sir." the young soldier answered confidently.

"Now clean it up."

Hoping that what he had seen was either some kind of trick of the light or just a product of his crazy imagination, Jean stepped away from the table._ Tch. All because of Eren again, screwing things up since morning. I must be more careful next time._

…would that the 'next time' never came…

* * *

_Later that day…_

"Quit fooling around, Connie!" Jean yelled at his oblivious opponent. "I'm not enjoying it either, but orders are orders!"

"Stop complaining and focus instead of standing here as if you'd grown roots." Connie answered, peeking at him over his clenched fists.

Having taken all the necessary safety measures, Levi _allowed_ his squad to train hand-to-hand combat outside the cottage. Odd as it may be, ten-meter-class titans, who could be killed with the help of three-dimensional maneuver gear, weren't their chief opponents now, therefore it was crucial to be prepared for a different kind of fight. It was dangerously possible that they were being watched even in this very instance, so the time for practice was shortened to the minimum. _Thank goodness_, thought Jean. He knew it was a favorable opportunity for verifying their skills, but if he were to spend here five more minutes with Connie, he would have to be pulled away from him by force because of excessive engagement in the training.

In front of him Connie was preparing himself for dodging the attack. He lowered his fists, then brought them back close to the face, skipped to the right, then to the left, hunched his back shielding his ribs with elbows, then sidestepped, not taking his eyes off the attacker for one second. But Jean only stood motionless and watched with half-lidded eyes, slowly losing patience.

"How am I supposed to focus when you keep dancing around me like a goddamn ballerina?!"

Incredulous, Connie let his arms drop. "Like you've never heard that you have to be prepared for any kind of situation. What if your next opponent turned out to be a dancer!"

The tall soldier didn't even notice when his hand found its way to his face to hide the expression of sheer annoyance. It wouldn't have ended up like this if Levi hadn't felt the need to separate Connie from Sasha in the semi-futile attempt to make the training more resultful. At least Sasha seemed to benefit from the change. Her and Historia were now busy practicing the basic techniques on each other. Several yards farther Armin was trying his best to parry the Corporal's blows, while Eren and Mikasa were exercising their dodging skills. Jean watched the two from the corner of his eye. Their performance was flawless. There was no room for the smallest mistake. Jean was curious whether the black-haired girl had to hold herself back…

"Maybe we should switch roles? That should pep you up a bit." Connie's voice sounded too vague to pay any heed to.

_Is Mikasa really ready to train yet?_ Jean wondered, observing her moves. It was hardly noticeable, but her usually swift agile cat-like movements were slower and in all probability involved more effort. However, her features did not show even the most subtle sign of fatigue or pain. Throughout the week following the massacre on the other side of Wall Rose he could hear her and Eren arguing heatedly about this issue. While he had insisted that she should take her time to recover her strength, she remained immovable in her attitude, claiming that she must be ready to fight any moment. Eventually, Eren had given up, conscious of the effectiveness of his power in this fight, and Mikasa continued her training. Even the Corporal was on her side, knowing of Ervin's recent plans which needed to be implemented soon.

As Eren and Mikasa carried on with the exercise, Jean suddenly remembered that just a while ago he heard a question directed at him. He turned towards his partner.

"I was wondering if we could switch, you know?" Connie stretched syllables, seeing his blank stare.

Jean blinked twice. "Yeah, whatever." he answered, finally turning his attention towards his impatient friend.

But that was when he heard a small muffled grunt. He jerked his head in the direction of the source of the sound. His eyes caught Mikasa clutching her ribs with one arm after leaning sideways in order to dodge Eren's kick. She must have twisted her body in such unfortunate way that the movement had sent a sudden stab of pain through her ribcage. In a split second she lost balance and fell on her back, grimacing. Alarmed, Eren immediately lowered his fists, calling out her name, and asked concernedly if he had hit her. But the girl only shook her head and assured him that she was alright, trying to wave him off. She rolled to her side and propped her weight on the elbow, poised to make the effort to stand up quickly. But before she managed to make a move she noticed Eren's arm outstretched for her. She looked up at him shyly as if she were considering whether to show that she needed no help, but eventually she took a hold of his hand.

Whether it was because she lost her footing again due to the pain or because her partner pulled her up with too much strength, Jean did not know, but either way Mikasa ended up stumbling straight into Eren's arms.

They both froze, their eyes wide open. Jean's left eye twitched uncontrollably. After a short awkward moment, which in his opinion lasted far too long, Mikasa pulled away, firmly, but not hurriedly. She mumbled an apology simultaneously with Eren and…

"INCOMING!"

The familiar shout hit Jean's eardrums like a canon explosion. But before he even stirred he felt all the air being knocked out of his lungs as Connie ran into him at full speed, grabbed him around the waist and knocked to the ground, collapsing on top of him. It took a second for Jean to realize what had happened. Soon afterwards arrived the pain. He thanked the heavens for the soft grass beneath him, as he felt his tailbone begin to throb. His spine was in no better condition either.

Connie was clumsily trying to get back to his feet, fairly amused. "I knew you wouldn't be ready." he teased. "What's up with you toda—"

"Get off me!" Jean growled, roughly shoving his opponent aside. _Shit. The same again. _It was just one big farce. Even though he never even lifted a finger he was getting his ass kicked because of that idiot. This time – literally. He could already imagine Levi looming over him. _'Jean,'_ he would say, _'stop slacking off in the dirt and get your lazy ass back to work.'_ Luckily, the Corporal was too busy at the moment.

_I swear, if he distracts me one more time…_ Shifting his attention to the training, Jean stood up with a determined look on his face and a massive chip on his shoulder.

* * *

_Several days later…_

At the new place where the Survey Corps were staying next they had much more room at their disposal. Sanes and Ralph, the captured members of the Military Police Brigade, were secure in their cells in the small desolated stone castle where the latter's screams had been echoing off the cold dark walls the day before. Meanwhile, the Scouting Legion had plenty of room to store and consume the goods provided by the Reebs Corporation. Currently they were anxiously awaiting Ervin's new orders.

After being forced to play the role of Eren's double again, Jean knew they could expect absolutely everything. What they knew so far was that Eren and Historia were supposed to be handed to the CEO. This plan reeked, but Jean hoped that the Commander knew what he was doing. Although, he wouldn't be surprised if it occurred to be just another gamble. It was unsettling that recently each step involved taking tremendous risk. The details of the plan were to be revealed soon.

Another morning brought no news. The young soldiers were striving for patience, though they couldn't help but feel that they were constantly being kept in the dark about something important. The screams of agony they had been forced to hear last night left them in dreary moods. Jean was especially worried about Armin whose state of mind had neither deteriorated nor improved since the latest mission.

The blond-haired soldier was right – they were not good people anymore. But what does it mean 'good people'? The ones who don't resort to taking the life of someone who's threatening their own safety? Not so long ago it seemed that the titans were their mutual enemy, but now soldiers from a different division turned out to be more dangerous and treacherous foes. Fighting against the government was madness itself, but what choice did they have? Who was actually the mad one? Sometimes there was no point in pondering over it. Hesitation and questioning the sense and morality of their deeds might lead to severe consequences. All they could do now was wait.

Jean was sitting alone in the boys' bedroom when a sudden knock on the wooden balustrade at the entrance interrupted his thoughts. A second later he saw Mikasa climbing up the stairs. In her hands she was holding a large basket partly filled with clothes. Even with her usual cold stoic expression her beauty never ceased to stun him.

"Jean, have you prepared your laundry?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course." he answered and picked up a small stack of dirty clothes lying on the floor beside his makeshift bed. Last night everyone had been informed of the upcoming washing and requested to collect their laundry beforehand. Levi would always see to it that the Survey Corps remembered the meaning of the word 'hygiene' and didn't stink like titans' vomit. And apparently Mikasa had been assigned to gather everyone's wash this morning.

Jean approached her and put the clothes into the basket on top of the girls' laundry.

"Thanks." she mumbled quietly. Her keen eyes quickly swept the room. "Where's Eren? And Connie?"

"I don't know, actually. Connie has probably completely forgotten about today's washing," Jean pointed at the unmade bed standing in the corner. The white sheets were barely visible under rumpled clothes and a heap of weird-looking rags. "About Eren… I think I've seen him doing something with his clothes this morning, but I don't know if he's finished. And Armin…"

"I've already received the laundry from him." Mikasa chipped in. "He's on watch now."

"Right." Jean's hand traveled to the back of his head. Why was he already starting to feel uncomfortable?

"Well, I guess I won't be waiting for them." she sighed. "When you see them, can you tell them—"

"Morning, Mikasa." a voice coming from downstairs interrupted her. Jean knew that voice almost too well. A moment later he saw Eren stopping on top of the staircase beside the girl. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled-up, his cheeks tinted red and there was a towel around his neck. From the looks of it, he had just returned from a morning workout.

"What…" he started, but then his gaze fell on the basket in Mikasa's hands. "Ah, right. I almost forgot." He slipped past her quickly and headed straight for his bed. He reached behind it to reveal a small heap of clothes which had been lying on the floor beneath Jean's line of sight. Before hurrying back towards Mikasa to fill the basket he pulled the towel off his nape and tossed it carelessly onto the pile. "Here you go."

"Thanks." she muttered even more quietly than before, her eyes glued to the laundry she was holding.

Were it not for the unexpected company, Jean would have wished to chat with her for a while, although… it was very likely that she wouldn't want that. Keeping his hopes up for another chance in the nearest future, he watched her turn around to leave. However, before she could take a step she was stopped by Eren's call.

"Wait, take this one, too."

To Jean's slight dismay Mikasa's eyes suddenly went wide as she turned to see Eren grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off over his head, ruffling his hair in the process. The shirt shared the fate of the towel and landed on the heap, whereas its owner pulled open a drawer beside his bed to search for another one, as if what he had just done was the most normal thing in the world. Apparently Mikasa promptly forgot that a second ago she had been on the point of leaving, for she was still standing on the stairs, frozen, her attention consumed by…

"Mikasa," Jean called out all of a sudden as a marvelous idea flashed through his jealousy-stricken mind. He tried to crack an innocent smile, but the outcome was rather miserable. "I completely forgot… you can take mine, too." he suggested and begun to unbutton his vest as the girl tore her gaze away from Eren. His fingers were stiff and clumsy. Feeling her eyes on him, he struggled to unfasten small buttons, one by one, while each passing second seemed to stretch on forever. _What am I even doing?_ he asked himself. _This is ridiculous._

Once he reached the last button he realized that he had simply risen to the bait. The open vest revealed his white shirt… with twice as many buttons. Somehow the temperature in the room increased significantly, at least for Jean. Suddenly the sound of Mikasa's voice made him look up at her.

"Just bring it to me later, Jean. I'll be downstairs." …and then she was gone.

For a longer while he stared at the wooden balustrade. A frown crossed his brow. _Shit. What was I thinking? _He slumped down onto his bed resignedly. And he used to think he had got over it a long time ago. But how could one ever abandon the attemptsto impress a girl like Mikasa Ackerman?

Jean sighed resignedly and started to fiddle with his damned buttons again, wondering whether he should bother to put on another shirt before following Mikasa.

* * *

The surface of the rickety table was impeccably clean by the time Eren had finished polishing it. Not a single speck of dust had escaped from under his dustcloth. Otherwise he would be forced to listen to the Corporal's critical remarks once again and that was something he wished to avoid. Who knows what else he would have been ordered to clean as a punishment. Although, keeping in mind the situation they were all in, in all likelihood Levi would have more serious issues to worry about than a 'half-assed cleaning'.

Eren wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. His eyes scanned the room in search for any piece of furniture he might have overlooked, but at first glance everything was perfectly fine for such a desolate place in the middle of nowhere. With all the chores finished he had a moment for himself. And he knew just the way to make the best use of it. It was the perfect opportunity which he had been waiting for since the day of Hanji's experiment. The recent operations which had resulted in establishing cooperation with the Reebs Corporation and capturing the members of the Military Police Brigade didn't allow him to get _that_ off his chest. It was the highest time to settle these things. _If I wait any longer, I'll go nuts_, he thought, pulling off the white headscarf.

While walking around the Scouting Legion's new refuge in almost every room Eren came across one of his friends, each of them assigned with a different chore. The only one who was nowhere to be found was the girl who had been sneaking into his thoughts for the last couple of days. She was neither there where Jean was dusting a massive ornate chandelier covered in cobwebs, nor in the kitchen where Connie and Historia were preparing a light lunch, nor in any other room in the stone tower. All Eren wished for was a quiet moment to share with her, where no prying eyes could reach them. Was it really too much to ask? The way their latest private moment had been ended left him frustrated and disoriented. By day the time-consuming work and the growing threat posed by the Military Police successfully brushed this thoughts away from this sensitive topic, and thus only the nights remained. Would that she knew what she was doing to him...

The narrow steps creaked under his feet as he climbed up the stairs leading to the attic. The humble wooden cabin situated next to the small castle also needed a thorough cleaning, therefore Eren hoped to find her there. With each step he could hear his own heartbeat more and more clearly. Was it caused by walking up the stairs? _No… it can't be._ His stamina was just fine…

Before he could think of another reason he reached the attic. It was bright and quite spacious, with no useless furnishings or other equipment to clutter it. Warm sunlight poured through the open curtainless window at the opposite side of the room. Several thin cords were stretched under the gabled ceiling and a basket full of clean laundry was waiting on the floor… and there she was, standing beside it with a freshly washed shirt in her hands. Her long grey skirt billowed gently, moved by the air wafting into the attic.

Her ears must have caught the sound of the creaking steps, for her eyes were already settled on him.

"…Eren?"

He did not stop at the top of the stairs, but his feet moved on their own, leading him straight in her direction. "Mikasa… do you need help with that?" he asked, nodding towards the shirt she was holding.

"Um… no, not really." she glanced at the cords behind her. No clothes were hanging on them yet. "It's only some clothes, that shouldn't take long."

"We'll get it done quicker together." Without further questions Eren stooped to take another damp item of clothing from the basket and hung it on the nearest cord.

Obviously it wasn't an issue worth bickering about. Mikasa didn't answer and slung the shirt over another string. Despite her initial reaction she was grateful for his company. She was simply too timid to ask him for it. Perhaps she still hadn't got used to the fact that she no longer had to feel that way.

The forest birds were chirping softly outside the window as Eren and Mikasa worked together in silence, however, neither of them was fully focused on what they were doing. Eren remembered clearly why he had come here in the first place, but only this instance did it dawn on him that he hadn't even contemplated what he wanted to say beforehand. Everything had looked a lot easier in his head several days ago. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked up the basket again to pick up something that looked like a pair of loose striped boxer shorts. It would be sheer folly to squander this chance. He would not balk now. Maybe words were unnecessary? Maybe he should simply kiss her right then and there…

"Eren, is something wrong?"

After hearing her voice Eren realized that he was subconsciously keeping his expression intensely thoughtful. He looked at her, his face softening. She was eyeing him with concern, tilting her head to see him from behind the already hung-out laundry between them.

"Huh? …no, I'm fine. I'm worried a bit about Armin." Obviously, it wasn't a lie, but it posed a good excuse at the moment. "He doesn't seem to cope well with the thought that one day he might be forced to kill someone."

"Yes, I noticed that, too. But he's stronger than he thinks he is." Mikasa poked the basket before her with a foot and moved closer to Eren to fill the empty spaces which he had left on his cord. "I've seen him talking to Jean a bit more often lately. After all they do have similar opinions on this issue." she said, hanging a long gathered skirt on the string.

"Can he actually take some good advice from Horse-face?" Eren jested. "Maybe. But why won't he ask _us_? We already have some experience, don't you think?" he blurted out. But once the images from several years ago flashed through his mind, he frowned. "I'm sorry, that wasn't really—"

The rest of his words was muffled by a damp cloth which was suddenly thrust at his face. The cold fabric was momentarily plastered to his skin. Praying that it wasn't another pair of men's underwear, Eren yanked it off and jerked his head to the left.

"Mikasa!" he called out pretentiously. Trying to suppress a smile she pretended not to hear him and continued her work as if nothing had happened. Eren stared at her in wonder. A chaffing Mikasa was a phenomenon which would occur once in a blue moon. How could he even be upset with her?

"Oh come on. First you almost make me choke on a whole loaf of bread and now this?" he said playfully.

In a split second her eyes widened and the amused benign expression vanished, replaced by discomfort and embarrassment. Without a single word she bowed her head and walked under the cords up to the open window. The recollection of that evening evoked mixed feelings within her, especially after Eren decided to remind her about that particular part of it. Suddenly she wished to be alone again, but at the same time she was annoyed with her own attitude. Was that what she really wanted to do? Constantly keep evading this subject? Nevertheless, several days ago she had managed to come to a different conclusion.

Her fingers tightened on the window sill as she gazed blankly into the horizon outside. Apparently, she was back to square one.

Eren could clearly see that he had just hit a raw nerve. He kicked himself for shelving his plan again. He looked down at what Mikasa had thrown at him. It turned out to be his own long-sleeved shirt, the one he had given to her this morning.

He clenched his fists in the fabric. "Screw this." he spoke out loud through gritted teeth. "I did not come here to hang out laundry."

Eren flung the shirt carelessly into the basket and made his way towards Mikasa, hunching his back to pass under the clotheslines.

The girl turned around to face him, her left hand lingered on the window sill. "Eren, I told you, there's no need for you to help me." she said dryly, arching her eyebrow.

Eren halted briefly once no cords separated them from each other. Then he walked up to her confidently while her beautiful dark eyes followed each step of his in confusion. Her black hair was waving softly in the wind, mesmerizing him.

"Ever since you did that…" he begun, stopping in front of her near the window. "…everything's been different." He took her hand from the sill and raised it to the level of their shoulders, intertwining his fingers with hers. She shuddered slightly in surprise.

"Even things so simple as touching your hand feel like daring to do something taboo." he confessed with a note of frustration in his voice. Never before had such problem occurred to him. He felt strange tension between them, which was a completely new and foreign experience. The newly created space between them was like an insurmountable barrier, even though they were standing only inches apart.

Mikasa kept her eyes fixed on their joined hands. _So… it had been a mistake after all_, she thought bitterly. If only there was a chance to fix this…

"Sorry," she said stiffly, trying to sound confident. "We can forget about that and everything will be just the way it used to be."

Eren gazed at her incredulously. "And what if that's the last thing I want to do?"

Her heart skipped a beat. When she looked into his eyes she saw no anger, no hesitation or inhibition. She saw precisely the same determination and warmth as on that memorable evening in his room. Suddenly his hand found itself on the small of her back and in one swift move he pulled her vehemently against him, away from the window. She was not prepared for this. Instinctively, she thrust her right arm in front of her and it landed on his chest, cushioning the impact. Through their thin clothes she could feel the heat of his body, the firmness of his toned abdomen. Once again their faces were so close that they could feel the invisible force which was pulling them even closer and closer…

Eren tilted his head ever so slightly. Seeking a sign in her wide-open lustrous eyes he leaned forwards gradually to let her make a decision. But Mikasa already knew. She relaxed her arm, allowing him closer. Against her palm she could feel his heart beating wildly, its rhythm matching hers. Inclining her head towards his face she let her eyelids droop slowly.

And when their lips met, the cruel world around them vanished. Mikasa freed her left palm from his grasp to place it beside the other one against his chest. Her hands did not linger there for too long. They slid up past his collarbones to his broad shoulders and then farther, until her arms were wrapped fondly around his neck. The strange tingling in the pit of her stomach intensified once she felt Eren's right hand moving smoothly across her upper back, holding her firmly against him. Their lips were gliding over each other, not as easily as they thought they would. Their noses bumped occasionally, tickling the soft skin of their faces. Regardless of how awkward or clumsy it felt, they were too lost in each other to care. Their bodies relaxed, letting them surrender to the sensation, but their hearts continued to pound rapidly.

Mikasa was breathless by the time they broke the kiss, still locked in a tender embrace. Her face was flushed and the heat in her stomach was radiating across her whole body. When she felt Eren press his forehead gently against hers, she lifted her eyelids slowly, leaving her eyes half-open.

"I was wrong." she whispered to him shakily, their breaths mingling. "I was afraid that if I showed you how I felt… it would draw us apart. And for a moment…"

"…it actually looked like that." he finished for her in a hoarse voice. "And I could no longer stand it." Eren loosened his embrace and slightly leaned backwards to study her face. With her fingers curled on his shoulders she was gazing into his eyes sheepishly.

"Mikasa… I don't want you to think that I never held you dear… or felt about you this way." he explained, trying to find the appropriate words. "I just…" _…didn't realize it?_ He snorted inwardly. That would sound absurd, even though to some extent it was true.

But Mikasa only smiled at him reassuringly, no longer feeling abashed. "Eren," she sighed and brushed his cheek with a hand. "I already know."

There was something convincing in her dark eyes and Eren knew she was being sincere. Instead of thinking of an answer he pressed his lips to hers once more. He didn't have to wait for her to respond, for she tilted her head right away to deepen the kiss. He buried his hand in her thick silky hair, eliciting a muffled moan form her. Mikasa tensed up a little, ashamed of the noise which escaped her throat against her will. But soon afterwards she learned that it was no use fighting it. Suddenly she felt something large and solid against her back. It occurred to be the wall of the attic, but she didn't have the slightest idea how she had found herself so close to it. She didn't want to open her eyes and kept relishing his touch.

In the meantime Eren groped blindly for her wrist and pinned it to the wall at the level of her head. For a short moment he pulled away, but only to let his lips graze her cheek, then her jaw, her neck, aching for more. He pulled the collar of her shirt aside, just a little bit. With her scarf in the wash and their lack of experience, he had the chance to learn by observing her reactions. He wanted to make her happy, let her lower her guard, just for a moment and brush all her worries aside. Somehow, despite the overwhelming haze in his mind, he started to wonder whether he should try and hold himself back. But he knew that Mikasa would undoubtedly hit him immediately if something displeased her. He loved the way she quivered under his touch, how her fingers begun to dig into his arm and later slipped into his hair. And when she called out his name, longingly and quietly, only for him to hear, he knew she felt the same.

Once his lips reached the delicate skin in the crook of her neck, she let out a sharp gasp and clenched her fingers helplessly in his hair, tilting her head back subconsciously. She felt herself weaken with each passing second, however, to her surprise… it didn't bother her. She _wanted_ to surrender to him, to stop being the strong and unapproachable self for a while. This side of her she could show to him only, and no one else. With Eren she felt safe, even if she was trapped against a wall, melting in his arms.

It wasn't long before she realized she could take no more. She tried pulling at his shoulder to urge him to go back up. He must have understood for he released her wrist and soon she felt the tip of his nose brush against hers, his warm breath on her lips. She opened her eyes briefly and placed her hands on both sides of his neck, her thumbs brushed his cheeks affectionately.

In that instant both of them could think of only one wish – to stay in that moment forever.

* * *

Jean wasn't even struggling to conceal his astonishment. The hour was getting late and Levi's squad were busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. He was standing by the table, peeling potatoes, when he noticed someone join him without a word. Mikasa added a couple of potatoes to those lying already in front of him and took a small knife in her hand to help him in his work.

For a short while he stopped what he was doing and glanced behind him. At the opposite side of the kitchen Eren was chopping vegetables. The vacant spot beside him was soon taken by Connie who offered his help. Jean peeked at the girl next to him again, arching his eyebrow. He could hardly see her face from behind her sleek black hair.

_Oh, stop it,_ he chided himself. _It's not like she needs a special reason for standing near you instead of him._ Nonetheless, he was glad of her choice. He adjusted his rolled-up sleeves and refocused his attention on the small tuber in his hand.

"Jean?" he heard her say suddenly and turned his head to look at her. She would say his name so seldom that it sounded fairly weird spoken in her lovely voice. Her deft hands coped well with the peeling while she carried on. "I'd like to thank you for supporting Armin lately." She raised her head to face him. "Eren and I don't always manage to break down the walls around him, so it's nice of you to show concern about him."

Yet another surprise. Even though there wasn't a hint of a smile on her face, her deep grey eyes held a gleam of gentle warmth. He did not recall noticing it when speaking to her before. She seemed a bit more... _friendly_ than usual.

"…no problem." he answered, still slightly baffled.

He was pleased to learn that she appreciated his efforts. However, he was aware that his contribution hadn't been so significant. During his latest conversation with Armin he'd begun to wonder who was actually more anxious about the future deeds of the Survey Corps. He had been somewhat shocked to discover that his blue-eyed comrade seemed to have accepted the fact that one day it might be necessary to throw aside their standards of morality. Jean was not willing to mull over it so early, although he dreaded to think how he would behave if such situation actually arose. How could Armin simply resign himself with it? Perhaps it was due to being so close with Eren and Mikasa.

Speaking of Mikasa… Jean had always wondered where she was drawing all this incredible strength from. It must involve a lot of effort to maintain such imperturbable composure. And even that would not stop her from caring deeply for the others. Her protectiveness was one of the features he admired about her greatly. She would never abandon anyone in need, especially her dearest friends.

Jean sighed inwardly. _Why does everything about her have to be so damn perfect? _He resumed peeling the potatoes along with Mikasa, smiling surreptitiously. Now that he knew how they both appreciated each other's help, the time was passing much more pleasantly.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ I decided not to describe what was underneath Eren's shirt to spare Jean another torture. I think the poor guy has suffered enough._

_That's all for this chapter, but as I mentioned before, there will be a short bonus, which I hope to finish before the end of the month. So **stay tuned!**_

_Also, thank you very much for the enthusiastic reviews! If you've noticed any huge grammatical mistakes, please let me know._

_PS: Just a small remark: I don't want anyone to think that I ship Armin with Jean. Far be it from me! :)  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_It was supposed to be posted a bit earlier… and it was supposed to be just a short bonus… _

…_oh well..._

_Setting: the night following the events presented in the previous chapter._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Silver moonlight seeped through the small windows of the cabin as Mikasa made her way downstairs after leaving the bedroom. Stealthy by nature, she was planting her feet delicately on the wooden steps. Occasionally the silence was punctured by an ominous creak of the wood under her shoes. The sun had set hours ago and the members of the Survey Corps were fast asleep. Beyond the thin walls the wind hummed a somber song and the twigs of the nearby trees swayed gently to the rhythm. The night was treacherously peaceful, evoking a delusive feeling of safety.

Having descended down the stairs, Mikasa clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a huge yawn. She headed for the kitchen, hoping to find something that would help her overcome tonight's insomnia. However, before she got there she glimpsed a source of warm light in the corner of the room she was crossing. The gentle brightness was coming from a candle standing on a small stool next to an old worn couch. One of its seats was taken.

"Mikasa? Can't sleep either?" Eren called out to her quietly. He was sitting on the old piece of furniture with his arms crossed, barely noticeable in the feeble candlelight.

The black-haired girl was not surprised to find him there at that hour. He had never been the one to go to sleep early. "Not exactly." she answered wearily. "I feel exhausted but somehow I can't get a wink of sleep. It's so irritating." she raised a hand to rub her eye lazily. "So I thought I could use a glass of milk, since nothing else will help."

"Don't bother." Eren stopped her quickly as she was already turning away to go to the kitchen. "There isn't even a drop left. I came up with the same idea, but it looks like someone had beaten me to it." he explained sullenly. The goods from the Reebs Corporation were disappearing mysteriously fast. It was hard to resist when such special treats, which they hadn't had the opportunity to taste in such a long time, were suddenly within reach. On the other hand, some people were able to overcome the temptation, whereas _others_ were having considerable difficulty in it.

Mikasa sighed wistfully. "That's a shame." _I'm gonna have to figure something else out_, she thought. Disappointed, she approached the couch and sat down beside Eren, instantly sinking deep into the worn seat. She braced her forearms on her lap and sent him a sideways glance. "Then why aren't you in bed yet?" she asked, curious about why he'd decided to stay downstairs even though he hadn't found what he'd been looking for.

The titan-shifter smirked furtively. _Typical Mikasa, never taking a break from worrying._ Either about the duration of his sleep or the size of his meals. "Hanji-san asked me to try and recall my last _visit_ to the Forest of Giant Trees." he answered. "She says she'd like to know anything that Ymir, Reiner or Berthold were talking about. It might be quite important." With all the mystery surrounding his recently-discovered powers, the Survey Corps were in need of any missing pieces of information concerning the titans. "Also, I figured out it would be easier to focus here then upstairs where I'm forced to listen to Connie's snoring."

Well, that was one powerful argument. One day Mikasa had been given the chance to hear their optimistic comrade's night concert. That experience made her commiserate with the rest of the boys.

"Right…" she acknowledged. Then she suppressed another yawn and sat up straight. "I won't be disturbing you then." The task he had been given was of potential importance indeed, therefore she decided to leave and let him focus. After all, it was time for her to figure out another way to get some sleep, as her previous plan could not be carried out.

"No, stay" Eren called out hurriedly before she made any move to rise from her seat. "…of course, if you don't wanna go back to bed." he added.

"…you just said yourself that it might be important." she reminded, slightly puzzled.

He shook his head resignedly. "Somehow, I just can't remember anything. Even the silence isn't helping. It's all blank, as if it had been erased from my memory." He pinched the bridge of his nose. All he could recall was that he'd understood almost nothing from the entire conversation. And to make things worse, Ymir had sided with the ones who would keep him in the dark. What was the goal of the three of them? What was of such tremendous value that it was worth shattering the lives of thousands of people residing once peacefully within Wall Maria? These questions wouldn't leave him be.

"Maybe I'm just trying the wrong way…" he said, partly to himself.

"It'll come to you eventually." Mikasa assured him.

She considered his previous suggestion for a while. Either she could stay here with him or head back to the girls' bedroom. If truth be told, the couch was even quite cushy. The furniture in the Scouting Legion's new hideout was very sparse, not to mention their condition and age, but somehow this piece was even… good enough to sleep on. And so Mikasa leaned against the back of the couch and against Eren's arm. Soon she discovered that it was much more comfortable than her own makeshift bed which waited for her upstairs, cold and empty.

She fixed her gaze on the small candle flame on her left. Once in a while it flickered restlessly, even though all the windows in the room were closed. Perhaps what she saw wasn't even real. Perhaps it was just the anxiety mounting deep within her heart.

The conditions of the agreement with Dimo Reebs were not a secret. Everyone knew that Eren and Historia were to play the key role in the upcoming mission. Mikasa remembered the indignation she had felt upon hearing Levi accept the CEO's terms back in Trost District. She could not believe her own ears. Of course, after the initial shock she had realized that the Corporal would never trade his subordinates for tea and other goods… no matter how abrasive and infuriating he was being most of the time. Obviously, an elaborate scheme must have been devised beforehand. Still, that fact would not put Mikasa's mind at ease.

She took her eyes off the candle and lowered her head. "Apparently tomorrow we'll get to know something about our next step." she said quietly, breaking the thoughtful silence.

Beside her, Eren crossed his arms again and let out a low 'mhm' to express that he agreed with her.

"And how are you feeling?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Fine… I guess."

Was he really so composed and indifferent, or was he just trying to conceal how he actually felt? But if anything bothered him, he would have told her… right? She stole a puzzled glance at him to see a slight frown on his face. He was gazing with unseeing eyes into the darkness which filled the corners of the room and slowly crept closer to them as the candle flame was gradually diminishing.

"I'm afraid they will take you away from us again." Mikasa disclosed, turning her head away. "Away from me." she added in a whisper.

Something tightened in Eren's stomach. For a moment he felt as if he had just traveled back in time to the titans' attack on Trost District. It seemed so vague and distant, although not much time had passed since then. He could remember the girl, who was sitting now so close beside him, grabbing his sleeve and beseeching him in a shaky voice not to let himself get killed. Her expression had been concealed behind the curtain of black hair falling over her face, just like now. Yet this time, better than ever, he could imagine how she felt without the need to see it in her features. He wanted to tell her to stop being silly, quit worrying, because everything was going to be alright. But it was impossible to predict the course of events. Her words evoked a sense of insecurity within him. He felt like a desirable object that everyone wanted only for themselves, who knows for what vile purpose. If they succeeded in laying their hands on him, how many people would have to sacrifice their lives in order to save him again?

His jaw clenched. He was absolutely not going to let history repeat itself.

"They won't." he stated firmly. 'I'm not letting myself get captured again."

Mikasa sighed. "How can you be so certain? Last time you had little influence on it." The intense battle, which Eren had fought just outside Wall Rose, had been blatantly uneven. Had it not been for Bertholdt's intervention, he would have managed to overpower Reiner and the ensuing bloodshed would have been hindered. Taking into consideration his titan-shifting skills, Eren was still inexperienced, however, he was an invincible fighter when it came to hand-to-hand combat. There was but one problem – it was not enough.

"And why do you assume that someone might manage to do it? We're not even familiar with the full plan yet." he argued.

"I have a bad feeling about this, Eren. This whole operation doesn't bode well. I don't trust that Reebs man." she said, grimacing.

"Good, because you shouldn't. The one you need to trust now is the Corporal."

_That midget?_ Mikasa sighed bitterly. _Yes, I know_. She did not have to present her thoughts on this fact out loud. It was evident that since their first meeting the relations between the two humanity's strongest soldiers had been, to put it mildly, strained. Nonetheless, Eren was absolutely right. In the Scouting Legion they could rely only on each other. They had been gaining many enemies of late. A knife in the back from their new allies was something they ought to be prepared for. Levi's personality was fairly peculiar, but despite this fact he was reliable and trustworthy as a squad leader. Moreover, the grudge she used to hold against him was a thing of the past. She had assured him she would not make another blunder by losing control over her emotions. No matter how she wanted to take the matters in her own hands, entrusting Eren's safety to the most experienced and top-ranked members of the Survey Corps was the only choice she had.

"After all," the titan shifter continued, "I know you would be there to save me, like you always do." He nudged her gently with his shoulder. "I would have been screwed without you." He was perfectly aware that every time she would risk her own life in order to rescue him and every time he would blame himself for it, but sharing this thought with her was a way of expressing his gratitude. He didn't know whether it would cheer her up, but it was worth a try.

Mikasa found his comment heartwarming, but only to some extent. _I wish I didn't have to save you_, she thought with sorrow. _I wish I didn't have to worry that somewhere out there someone is only waiting to hurt you._

Tired of dwelling on the issue, she was hardly aware of her head tilting slowly to the left and resting on Eren's shoulder. Her eyes fluttered shut almost immediately afterwards and she felt her body relaxing. Sometimes when they were kids they used to doze off like that after listening to Armin's fascinating stories about the world outside the walls. He would read them about vast oceans of grass, its blades swaying together in the wind like rising and falling waves… about deserts, thousands and thousands of miles broad, where fields of tiny golden grains of sand were the only thing to be seen, stretching up to the horizon and beyond… about mountains of solid ice, so large that the blinding sun would never melt them, even though it could shine incessantly for two long seasons.

The kids would eagerly catch every single word of these unbelievable tales until sleep came and overtook them. Next morning the three of them would wake up under a huge cozy blanket draped over them by Eren's mother. Mikasa smiled sadly at the memory. She wished to reminisce only about the joyous moments of their childhood, although the grief, which was inextricably linked with it, could not be easily forgotten.

However, at this moment she was gradually drifting off, her thoughts becoming hazy. It appeared that she didn't need to seek another way to cope with the insomnia after all. But before she could fall asleep, the ringing silence was broken by Eren's voice, which seemed louder to her than it actually was.

"Maybe you should go back to bed?" he suggested in her ear.

Mikasa let out a soft protracted murmur, expressing her disapproval. She tried to shake her head to emphasize it, but she ended up nuzzling her cheek fondly against his shoulder. She had absolutely no intention of leaving.

"Oh really? A few more minutes and I'm going to have to carry you there." he said with a hint of amusement.

The girl couldn't help but find the offer strongly tempting. But what was the use of being carried to the girls' bedroom in his arms only to be left there without him?

"No… I'm good here." she answered quietly. And with those words she started leaning against him slowly, her slender form pressing against his body, filling the last spaces between them. Her hand traveled lazily across his chest up to his other shoulder, her fingers bunching in the fabric of his shirt.

Feeling that he was being pushed towards the corner of the couch, Eren groped for its armrest, trying to brace himself on it, but the pressure did not lessen. Instead, it was soon doubled by the force of gravity and he knew there was no point in resisting.

"Mikasa… Wait…!" he uttered before his hand slipped off the armrest and he slumped down onto the worn piece of furniture with Mikasa on top of him. She let her head rest against his chest in the most comfortable way and pulled her legs up to lay them on the couch.

"I can't afford to lose you again." she whispered.

As if her previous confession hadn't been distressing enough. Eren felt remorseful for all the pain she had been forced to go through, even if some cases he hadn't been able to prevent. He wished to protect her from it. She had already endured too much suffering in life.

He said nothing in response. Making empty promises was entirely pointless. Instead, he pulled his legs up from the uncomfortable twisted position as well and stretched them out beside hers. His hand stroked her silky hair, so soft to the touch, then brushed them gently away from her cheek.

Mikasa had a weird impression of being in a different reality, likewise earlier that day in the attic. It was so much unlike the everyday life, when they had no time for displaying affection. Still she knew that the next day they would have to return to being cold-hearted soldiers fighting for the survival of humanity as well as their own lives and the lives of their comrades, but was it actually impossible for these two realities to intermingle? Being a part of the military forces they ought to place their duty above everything else and always be ready to fulfill it. But Mikasa had sworn to herself that her love for Eren would never ruffle her composure again. That was why she wanted to protect him at all cost. Even though she was extremely strong, another separation might have a devastating effect on her. She wasn't willing to find out how she would withstand it. For now she concentrated on this precious moment.

It didn't matter that they might stay here on the couch until sunrise, that someone might eventually find them in this situation, especially Jean coming back from tonight's watch. She kept listening to Eren's steady heartbeat right beneath her head. The sound was soothing and it was slowly lulling her to sleep.

He was alive. They were both still alive in this cruel, yet beautiful world. This fact was a miracle itself, a reason to rejoice. Together with Armin they could overcome all any adversities. The three of them had something worth fighting for.

Eren draped his arm across her back and closed his eyes. Overwhelmed by the sweet warmth Mikasa felt her breath become slow and shallow. Eventually she drifted off to sleep, feeling his heart so close to hers.

THE END

* * *

_**A/N**__: I feel that I could add a lot more details here, but sadly school has started again and I'm already experiencing the familiar lack of time for writing fanfiction. And it seems that I've neglected my other story, too… *sigh*_

_So, this fanfinction is now finally complete and I have a small request. Dear Reader, if you're a tumblr user and you liked the story, feel free to post a link to it under the eremika tag. I would be immensely grateful for the chance of sharing the love for eremika with other shippers. Honestly, I don't really know how it works, since I don't have a tumblr account, but I hope it's not too much trouble. :)_

_Thank you all very much for staying with me till the end. And now brace yourselves... for chapter 62 is coming…_


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